110815- Ikea Jail
timorousTraveler TT began trolling angryGardener AG at 23:18 -- AG: Um, hello? TT: hello human, i haVe some ques7ions for you. AG: Okay TT: well. more so rumors. 7ha7 need 7o be cleared up. AG: Hm? TT: I already 7alked 7o nyarla abou7 7ha7 whole "grandpa" concep7 he was 7rying 7o sell me on, bu7 TT: ... well, is i7 7rue? AG: Uh TT: im sorry im doub7ing 7his jus7 humans seem kinda weird so im no7 sure wha7s 7rue and wha7s no7 AG: Yeah, grandpas are real AG: So are father/dads AG: And mothers/moms TT: okay, okay... TT: bu7 why do you keep 7hem around? TT: like 7oo many people in one area s7ar7s drama, bu7... liVing 7oge7her? TT: wi7h ances7ors? AG: My grandpa took care of me, and if my dad hadn't killed my mom, my mom would've took care of me as well AG: Although, normally the dad and mom take care of the kid, and the grandparents just sit back TT: an en7ire genera7ion 7ha7's jus7. 7here. and no7 doing any7hing. TT: um. TT: ... you sure 7ha7s a normal 7hing? AG: Uh, yeah AG: Kinda TT: i know some highbloods, like 7yrans, can know 7heir ances7ors... TT: are you like 7he human 7yran or some7hing? TT: or. are all humans 7yrans. TT: ac7ually no. 7ha7's s7upid neVermind. AG: All humans take care of their kids TT: 7ha7 sounds kinda dumb. AG: The mom and dad "do the do" then 9 months later the mom gives birth to a baby, and then the mom and dad take care of the baby AG: It's something called "compassion" TT: bu7 why. like, 7aking care of offspring... TT: i mean for ins7ance wha7 if your child wan7ed 7o kill you? AG: The child goes to juvy AG: Which is basically kid jail TT: uhhh TT: ill pre7end i know wha7 7hose words mean alrigh7 AG: Do you guys have jail? TT: we haVe culling. lo7s of 7ha7. TT: 7here are some "legal sys7ems" bu7 basically 7ha7s jus7 more culling wi7h a show for higherbloods. AG: That sounds shitty TT: is 7here no7 culling a7 7his "jail"? AG: Well AG: We lock you up AG: For a very long time AG: Depends how bad the crime was AG: If you did something really bad, we'll sentence you to death AG: It's normally really sad, and there are lots of tears and shit AG: The person getting put to death gets a last meal, and it can be as big as they want, so that's an upside AG: Not reeally AG: But AG: It's kinda cool TT: your jails sound really cushy. AG: Eh TT: no seriously TT: locked away from mos7 of 7he ou7side world, so you can'7 ge7 culled... if you did some7hing bad and ge7 caugh7 you ge7 a las7 meal... TT: uh TT: none of you humans happened 7o bring oVer a jail, righ7? AG: No, they're normally entire buildings TT: damn i7. TT: i wouldn7 haVe really minded a jail righ7 now. i7 seems like a safe place. TT: and like. uh. no7 a crazy land. AG: They're normally really cold and creepy AG: Not the most comfortable place TT: eh. TT: i7s be77er 7han jus7 7ons of wa7er eVerywhere. TT: and uhh... TT: wha7eVer 7he fuck your land is. i be7. AG: My land is Ikea AG: Ikea is a furniture store AG: It also has a food court TT: oh lucky TT: you ge7 a 7on of furna7ure and food. eVeryone else ge7s rocks. TT: 7rade? AG: Well, it's not all that good TT: how so? AG: Vigil might be stalking me TT: oh FUCK no. TT: wha7 did you do 7o ge7 on his bad side? TT: and uh. 7he las7 one who did 7ha7. he s7ill doesn7 haVe arms, so TT: yknow jus7 curious AG: Well, I entered and then he gave me a plant and he told me that if it died he'd kill me TT: .... and. he did 7his for no reason. TT: none a7 all. AG: he said I have to prove myself to be a loyal protector TT: i 7hink he himself needs 7o learn wha7 7hose words mean bu7 yknow AG: I don't know TT: maybe you can find a place 7o di7ch 7he plan7 or some7hing TT: or a way 7o keep i7 wa7ered while youre away AG: It eats flesh AG: I've been feeding it rats TT: . . . TT: Burn 7ha7 fucking plan7 7o 7he ground TT: i7s an abomina7ion AG: I can't AG: If I do, Vigil will kill me AG: I'd like to not die TT: i'd do i7 for you 7hen. AG: He'd still kill me AG: If the plant dies, he will kill me TT: im serious 7he minu7e you said "feeding ra7s 7o i7" 7ha7 7hing wen7 from an annoying chore 7o a no7able eVil TT: well jus7. TT: you said 7heres a food cour7. go ge7 mea7 from 7he food cour7. TT: don7 feed i7 en7ire ra7s wha7 7he fuck AG: I'm heading to the food court TT: 7hank you. TT: feed 7ha7 7hing grubs or some7hing jus7 no7 ra7s. TT: 7ha7 can only lead 7o bad 7hings. AG: I've been heading to it for almost two days AG: Also, why can't I feed it rats? TT: jus7 don7 feed 7ha7 7hing ra7s! AG: Ugh, fine TT: and i mean, i7s a plan7. TT: wha7 is i7 gonna die wi7hou7 cons7an7 a77en7ion? AG: I'm just gonna go to the food court and see how it goes from there TT: yeah 7hen you can di7ch 7he 7hing wi7h 7he food and do some o7her fun s7uff in ikea land AG: I'm not ditching this plant AG: Who the hell are anyway? TT: is your plan really 7o jus7 play 7he game while carrying a flesh-ea7ing plan7. smar7. AG: Well, yeah TT: im placing be7s righ7 now 7ha7 7he plan7 is going 7o 7ake a bi7e ou7 of you before 7he week is oVer. AG: I'm wouldn't be suprised TT: a7 leas7 i7 can7 dismember limbs ye7. you'll be fine. AG: Eh TT: well mike, ill be leaVing you 7o your food cour7 ques7 AG: Yeah TT: which is hones7ly one of 7he dumber ques7s 7ha7 needs 7o be done, bu7 s7ill AG: Later whoever you are TT: uh. righ7. I'm Heliux. 7he Heir of space guy. TT: in any case, seeya around. don'7 become plan7 food. -- timorousTraveler TT gave up trolling angryGardener AG at 00:19 -- Category:Heliux Category:Mike